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21 in 2021

The whole point of this blog is to reflect upon the past year in my life and record important events that have occurred throughout the year. I am one of those people who has really poor memory and won’t remember more than half the things next year. Now the question being why should you remember them? Well, it’s to remind myself of my growth, whether it’s personal, social or professional. We can even compare this practice to taking photos. We capture photos to collect memories. Similarly, by writing this blog, I am simply collecting events from my life that I do not wish to fade away with time.


  • Watched Mahabharat, the 1988 version


Until the first half of 2021, my knowledge about Mahabharat was close to zero. Apart from the fact that it was a war between Pandavas and Kauravas that the former won, I knew nothing more. In fact, I did not attempt to learn more about this Indian epic as it involved many relationships, a topic that usually goes above my head. So, I have to thank my younger brother Gaurav’s classmate, Pranati Parthasarathy for instigating me to learn about Mahabharat. Let me explain. It was nighttime. Gaurav and dad were sitting in our room and discussing his college and his classmates. He mentioned something about Pranati Parthasarathy. Dad immediately shot a general knowledge question at me, “Who is Parthasarathy?”. I had no idea. Dad shook his head in disbelief. He followed it up with another one, “Okay, what does sarathy mean?” I remained silent again. He sighed and shook his head in incredulously for not knowing Hindi too. For the first time, I did feel ashamed. Reading the book was out of the question. So, that night itself I searched for a show on Mahabharat. I found B.R.Chopra’s Mahabharat, a 1988 TV series with 94 episodes of around 50 minutes each.

It was available on YouTube, so I started watching it right away. The next day, I proudly informed dad about it. Mom and dad remembered their childhood days when they used to watch the show that aired on Doordarshan and suggested we all watch it together during dinner time. And that’s how I finally got rid of the guilt of not knowing about the pride of India, the Mahabharata.




  • Attended Bhagavad Gita sessions


Around the time we were watching Mahabharat, I also got the opportunity to learn the Bhagavad Gita, through an 18-day class initiated by ISKCON. Bhagavad Gita has 18 chapters, hence every day was dedicated to one chapter. I had signed up for the English version while my parents for the Hindi sessions. But, I ended up attending the Hindi sessions with my parents. Prabhuji Chakravarti Das was our teacher. His explanation was mesmerising, his voice was rhythmic and his Hindi was impeccable. If not for these sessions, I don’t think I would’ve attempted to read it for it’s so huge and hard to understand without guidance. Prabhuji summarised all the chapters really well and the post session discussions with my parents added to the fun. Together, we even solved the exercises given to us. Also, it is probably the one and only class I’ve attended with my parents, so yay 2021.


  • Spent more time with my family amidst the ongoing pandemic


I feel I have bonded with my family much more after the pandemic began. After going to college in Coimbatore, I had lost connection with mostly everyone, thanks to my workaholic nature that weighed work over everything else. I don’t want to beat myself up for it and take a guilt-trip now. I did what I felt was best for me back then. The pandemic gave me a chance to spend more time with my family. It makes me realise that time is indeed everything. The more time you spend with a person, the closer you become to them. It could of course be the other way round too. But, for me this precious time did wonders. I talked to Dadi for hours daily, I went for evening walks with dad, my cousins and I organised sleepovers and parties, mom and I spent mornings together. I noticed that giving my time to the other person made me and them happy. So, I consciously started doing that. Afterall, we are all here to be happy, aren’t we?


Going out during the pandemic was a big deal, at least for me. I have hardly travelled anywhere in 2021. I can count the outings within Mumbai on my fingers. I did feel frustrated many times and was longing for a vacation. It seemed impossible but my sweet family planned a weekend outing in Lonavala on my birthday. Then, on Chachi’s birthday, we went to Murud. So, before 2021 ended, I got to take two 2-day trips. If I say I am satisfied, I would be lying, so I would rather say not bad. But, I hope to take a longer vacation in 2022.


  • Visited Ulhasnagar with Dadi (my grandmother)


Dadi has told me many stories about her relatives in Ulhasnagar, a small city, around 1.5 hours from Mumbai city. I was excited to visit this place so close to her heart, but the pandemic hit and we lost the opportunity. In November 2021, Dadi got an invitation from her relatives to attend a wedding. She was exhilarated because she was going to visit Ulhasnagar after 20 long years. By default, I was attending the wedding with her. She kept telling me, “Dekhna sab kitna pyaar karenge tujhe. Bohot ache log hai voh.” (Everyone is going to love you; they are really sweet people.)


My Chachu and Chachi bought me fancy clothes because everyone was going to dress up and no way could Dadi’s granddaughter look underdressed. Ulhasnagar is a really small city, with a majority of Sindhi population. We reached there by noon and the entire car journey I was trying to understand the family tree. First, we met Dadi’s youngest cousin at his steel shop. The reactions were worth capturing, but sadly, I couldn’t take any photographs. Everyone my Dadi met, exclaimed, “Manohari!” so happily. Manohari was my grandmother’s name before her marriage. On the same lane, a few metres ahead was another cousin’s wine shop. I got to sit inside a wine shop - something I can never imagine doing otherwise! It was a memory and nostalgia rush for Dadi and her relatives - everyone was so happy to see each other.


Before going to the wedding house, we made one last visit to Dadi’s uncle’s house. He is our great great grandfather - I didn’t even know I had one! Being in the presence of a nonagenarian, I couldn’t stop myself from observing him. He was frail and needed help to sit upright. He barely moved and almost never blinked. Talking, too, was an effort for him. Dadi did most of the talking while we all just sat around him. He asked Dadi if I knew how to speak in Sindhi and she gave a long regretful answer explaining why I didn’t. Suddenly, he started weeping and said, “Manohari, maa tankhe jaam miss karaan tha.” It was emotional to watch him breakdown. Maybe he was in so much pain, that he could think of nothing but the fond memories of the bygone days. Before we left, he gave my Dadi ‘kharchi’, i.e. gift money - it is the first time I saw my Dadi receiving kharchi. Usually, she is the giver - we get kharchi from her on all festivals and birthdays.


Finally, we visited the wedding house. More people, more relations. After a point, I stopped trying to understand who’s who. Dadi met her last brother, who too was bedridden. She tied a rakhi to him, it was a sweet moment to cherish, and so I captured it.





In the evening, we all dressed up to attend the wedding. They made us dance in the baarat and as we were entering the open lawn, where the wedding was going to take place, it started raining out of the blue. Everyone sat there until it was lightly drizzling.


Once it started pouring, we all had to shift in an area with a shade except the bride and the groom. We were not able to see the ceremony, but we clicked photos, ate dinner and headed home.








  • Received another letter from my friend; successfully replied to her this time


I don’t think I want to talk about this much. Let’s just say I am happy to get closure after so many years of regret, remorse, agonising dreams, questioning my actions innumerable times and troubling my family and friends for what the next step should be without doing anything about it. I hope my friend got the closure she was waiting for, too. This relationship was important to us, and probably that is why it did not leave our minds for long. Losing a friend, a best friend breaks you, but it remains a thing of the past now. Some things are just not meant to be, I guess.


  • Reconciled with Shreshth


Shreshth is another friend who I would’ve lost had it not been for Sahil, who helped us reconcile. The three of us talked and bonded like before, like college times. It was an extremely happy day for us. That day I realised it is not that hard to reconcile, it’s our egos that makes it seem so hard to do it. So, note to self: Keep your ego aside, and talk it out.


  • Got an offer to be the content lead of a start-up


The point of this memory is not to brag, but a humble reminder to self that I am capable of doing things. Sometime towards the end of May 2021, Proactive for her, the company I write articles for, offered me a job. They wanted me to be their content lead, a post that I could never imagine getting offered otherwise with the little experience I had. I did not take it up because it meant shifting cities, something my parents did not want me to do. Neither was I too keen on living in Bengaluru.


  • Attended dialogue writing and screenplay writing courses


I chanced upon an ad put up by FTII, Pune regarding short online courses. It seemed like a one of a kind opportunity, that I did not wish to miss. Dad was supportive and asked me to enrol in them. A two week scene and dialogue writing course by Vikas Sharma. It was not too long yet it was fairly comprehensive. And a long 8-week course by Samvartha Sahil on screenplay writing. I met a wonderful community and a warm faculty. The way he talked reflected his immense love for cinema. I learnt so much from him not just about films, but about life. It’s not surprising because Samvartha Sir calls himself a student of life. I will always remember the great lesson he gave us through his lectures - for making films, you need to learn about life!


  • Was successful in conquering my thoughts about comparing success with money


Money did matter to me at one point. It still does but I don’t fret about it. I remember having nervous breakdowns comparing myself to people my age who were earning much more than I was. Most people are unhappy because they are stuck in a rut of comparison. But, the moment I stopped comparing myself with others, stopped thinking about money and started being grateful for having work to do, I observed a sense of calmness in me. Secondly, success is not defined by your bank balance. For me, success is truthfully doing all the work I get irrespective of how much I am getting paid for it; I never deliver substandard work. Of course that does not mean I will take up everything that comes my way - I have to make a choice depending on many factors only because we don’t have infinite time in the world.


  • Expanded my culinary experience


Thukpa, egg curry, locho, paneer kofta curry, polenta, sushi, kimchi fried rice, tomato spaghetti, creamy mushroom spaghetti, regular cake, marble cake, chocolate brownies, coconut garlic chutney, peanut chutney, tomato chutney, pakoras, chilla and more. No, I am not reading a restaurant menu; I made all of these foods in my home kitchen.





Compared to 2020, I made fewer dishes. But food makes me so happy that every time I am tired of working, I automatically land up in the kitchen, either to eat something or to cook something. In April 2021, when my parents were infected by the coronavirus, I took over the kitchen and house chores entirely. It was then when I learnt to buy vegetables and fruits and cook the usual ghar ka khana - dal rice, aloo tamatar, dal turi, sai bhaji, khichdi, parathas, roti, egg curry, aloo bhindi, etc. Note to my mom: I am confident I can live alone.


  • Got rid of acidity; hair fall


After college, my health was messed up - underweight, acidity, hairfall, insomnia. Finally, after being fed up, my parents forced me to take medical help for these issues. Ayurveda helped resolve my acidity, allopathy took care of hair fall and sleep issues needed discipline that I lacked until the last month of the year.


  • Successfully conquered my sugar cravings for at least 2 months


It is a family tradition to record weight on the first of every month. I checked my entire 2021 records and noticed that I had lost weight every time I curbed my sugar intake. Sugar is my weakness and to stop that entirely takes a lot of willpower, so I have to pat my back for it.


  • Got vaccinated against coronavirus

One event that the entire world took part in - getting vaccinated against coronavirus. I wrote about it in detail in my blog 'I got my first shot on July 5, 2021'


  • Put effort in creating rangolis for Diwali


Since I was a child, I have been fascinated by rangolis. I used to love watching my Chachi make pretty rangolis every year during Diwali. After growing up, I tried my hand at rangoli making too, but I don’t remember any of them. However, I can never forget all of this year’s rangolis, especially the final one on Diwali! I spent 4 hours making it. To be honest, I didn’t know I was capable of making it until I tried. Another note to self: Do not say you cannot do something until you try it. Life is full of surprises, indeed!



PS: I don’t take credits for any of the designs - I learnt them through online YouTube videos.


  • Purchased the ASUS ROG Zephyrus G14 and Apple iPhone SE


Both of these purchases were incredibly important for me. I am not a tech-savvy person, but having gadgets with fast performance, ample storage and beautiful screens is a blessing!


  • Parth went to Maryland, USA and got me maple leaves


My cousin, Parth moved to Maryland in the USA for his higher studies. A few days before his winter break, he asked me what I wanted from the USA. I didn’t want anything. But then I got reminded of the photograph of the gorgeous fall trees that he had sent on our family group. I knew what I wanted.



I asked him to get me a few fall leaves. He gave me a look as if I had said something silly. I was well aware why I wanted the fall leaves - I can mostly get everything else in India too. But getting the fiery yellow, red and ochre maple fall leaves is like getting a part of Maryland, USA and that holds a much more special value for me than any other gift. Thank you Parth, I love you.


  • Met Shaku masi after 3 years


Meeting Shaku masi means lots of new tasty recipes, art and craft, fun gifts, warm hugs, and love. But more than anything, seeing the reunion of two loving sisters never fails to melt our hearts. In 2-3 years, they get to meet for just 2-3 days. It’s cute to see mom give all her attention to masi when she is here. And I take pleasure in giving a list of complaints about mom to masi. Whenever it’s time for masi to leave, mom breaks down. This time, I happened to be around when she was crying and hugging her sister before she sat into the cab. Seeing such strong emotions, I teared up too, but controlled my tears from rolling down my cheeks.

  • Rana left us


Rana, our sweet little white-eyed pigeon didn’t visit us one day. Although it was an unusual occurrence, we didn’t give it much thought until it happened again the next day. Rana had never missed eating its favourite bajra seeds every morning and evening. Someday, if we forgot to give it food to eat, it would sit at the window and demand for it. It didn’t feel good to not have it around. After almost 3 years of every day interaction with the cute bird, Rana was like family to us. We discussed Rana every day since it went missing and when it didn’t return for a whole week, we started believing it was never going to come back. Our belief turned into reality when indeed it did not return even after a month passed by. Maybe it found a new home, maybe it had to shift to a new city, maybe it had family commitments or maybe it passed away. It’s going to always remain a maybe. But, wherever you are Rana, hope you’re as happy as we were in your presence all these 3 years!


  • Used my menstrual cup for more than a year


If I’ve to choose one product I am and will be eternally grateful for, it has to be my menstrual cup. I’ve used it for a little over a year and now, I cannot imagine using anything but this beauty during my periods. I can do activities that were impossible otherwise. For instance, swimming during periods is a no-no if you use sanitary pads. This year, I was on my periods during the Murud trip and if I were using pads, I would have to either cancel the trip or admire the sea from a distance while everyone else took a dip. But the menstrual cup evades all of these restrictions; so I was able to stay in the water for hours. I can exercise, run, swim, wear what I want, go for long trips without a worry in the world!


Also, I can proudly say that I contribute to the sustainable menstruation movement!


  • Sonu papa met with an accident


This one is a bit sad and I don’t think I can forget it even if I don’t write it here. It’s been 17 days since Sonu papa met with a terrible bike accident - it came as a shock for both him, and everyone in the house. For him it was shocking because he couldn’t believe the situation. The first few days, he kept repeating the same statement in disbelief, “I’ve been riding since 28 years - I have fallen many times, but such a terrible accident - never!” He found it ghastly to look at his own body - the gruesome blood clots were not a pleasant sight.


Initially, the discussions revolved around unravelling the mystery of how the accident happened. Sonu Papa remembered close to nothing - so it was hard to plot the exact events. There were no CCTVs or witnesses either. But, all of this makes no difference now, all that matters is that his shoulder blade and the 5 broken ribs repair soon! It’s hard to spend days without much to do. Even harder for him because all his hobbies included outdoor activities such as walking, running marathons, and biking. But, Sonu papa is giving a tough fightback - his funny side has not gone anywhere and if we crack a joke, he tries hard not to laugh, holds his chest and says, “Tum log hasaya mat karo yaar. Dard hota hai.” (Don’t make me laugh! It hurts.)


  • Joined a yoga class after being frustrated about not having discipline


I have been pretty undisciplined all my life. And I was okay with it. Until it started affecting my health, my work and my goals. I would wake up late and frustrated, quickly brush my teeth and directly sit to work. No breakfast. No walk. No exercise. No meditation. Nothing but work all day, all night. Back pain, lethargy, mood swings, boredom - nothing was going right. Many times, I tried to introduce good habits in my life but my efforts would not last more than a few days. I realised I needed a routine in my life. I wanted a healthy body and mind. And so, I asked my mom if she knew of a yoga class. She said, “Yes there’s one that happens in our colony but it’s at 6:30 am.” My immediate response was, “Is there no evening batch?” There were none. I had to choose between 6:30 am and the same old frustrating life. I had not seen the sunrise in months but I decided to take up the challenge. The first week I barely managed to get out of bed. My mom suggested I start it from the New Year. But it didn’t make sense to me. I think New Year resolutions should be started a month earlier. So that by the time it’s New Year, you have already gotten into the habit. The second week I pushed myself to wake up - there were mainly two motivations. One, to prove myself I am capable of waking up early and exercising and two, to prove it to other people in the house who believed it was impossible for me to do it! Indeed, in the end, I surprised myself and my family. Thankfully, it was not a fling, rather a steady relationship that I hope continues into a long term relationship. I mean with early mornings and yoga.


 

So, with that my 21 in 2021 list is complete and I am already excited for 22 in 2022 next year!







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