There's a guy in my head,
He likes to sit around all day
and possibly do nothing,
Whispers "keep scrolling" in my ear
And I listen to him,
Makes me chuckle
At the most inappropriate moments,
Much to everyone else's disbelief.
I keep asking myself,
"How did he get there?"
There's a guy in my head,
Tells me a million other things to do
When the most important one
Stares at my face,
Convinces me to be mediocre
And settle for less,
Made me push all tasks
Until the last second.
There's a guy in my head,
Turns me into a quitter
After a minor inconvenience,
Reminds of the blunders
In my past and suggests
The ones I'll commit in the future,
Draws a curtain over my senses
Waning everything within,
Breeds hate and loathing
For the ones who care for me,
Wonders what others would think
And freezes me in my tracks.
It took me twenty years
To know this dude existed,
"How did he get there?"
Turned out to be a question
Too long to answer
And too painful.
I've known this guy
For three years now,
He doesn't seem to mind
the exposé,
Loves the attention
And talks much louder now.
Fortunately,
There is a trick up my sleeve.
I want to use this guy,
To help me see
What's important for me,
Because he seems to know
By suggesting the contrary.
If I give him more attention,
He seems to get larger
And his voice grows louder.
When I let him be,
Allow him to drone on
About the sorrows and pointlessness
Of existence,
I cease to hear him.
How long do I have to do this?
Does not matter to me,
For I believe
Every day will be a challenge,
A dragon to slay,
A quest to fulfill,
A demon to conquer,
To live the life
I deserve for me.
I resonated with this quote I found on Reddit -
"There's a guy in my head, and all he wants to do is lay in bed all day long, smoke pot, and watch old movies and cartoons. My life is a series of strategems, to avoid, and outwit that guy" - Anthony Bourdain
This served as my primary inspiration for writing the poem (my first poem too!)
- Skandha
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