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Dining Etiquette

If I have to think of the times when the four of us in my family spend time together, meditation and mealtimes come to my mind. While meditation is a recent entry to the list, mealtimes have always been there. At home, we all like to work in our own comfortable spaces which is obviously different for each one. I usually work on my laptop in the living room or in my parents’ room. My brother reads his books or plays games sitting on the sofa or sometimes in my parents’ room. Even though my younger brother and I are privileged enough to have our own room, we hardly spend time there, in fact, its use is restricted to sleeping at night. My dad sits on his bed while reading the newspaper or doing office work. At most times, mom is in the kitchen, cooking for us and in her room when she wants to rest. However, when it is any mealtime, we all gather in the living room to enjoy the food together in one defined space.


Although we have a dining table with a quartet of chairs, we never use it for dining. Instead, we lay a thin old bedsheet on the floor, arrange the cutlery, casseroles and other vessels in the center and the four of us sit around it. This is familial culture that has been passed down through generations. Actually, it is not just a familial culture but an Asian culture that can be dated back to ages – Pakistan, Japan, Korea and China being few other countries along with India that follows the tradition of sitting on the floor and eating. In India, we sit in the Sukhasana pose, which means a cross legged sitting posture – a Yoga pose. Does that mean we are doing Yoga while eating? Maybe. Yesterday, I attended an online Art of Living session conducted by Kamlesh Barwaal. She beautifully explained to us the importance and meaning of Yoga.


Perform this as you read it.

“Raise your left hand up and cup it. Imagine that your all time favourite chutney is placed in the hand. Now, dip the index finger of your right hand in the chutney and generously lick it.”, said Kamlesh didi.


We all did it as she instructed. Then she continued, “Did you close your eyes while licking it? You did, right? You closed your eyes because you were one hundred percent immersed in the experience of enjoying your favorite chutney. Similarly, when you hug a loved one, have you noticed that you close your eyes? This experience is Yoga. Yoga is nothing but connecting with yourself, becoming one with yourself. In other words, when your body and mind are in a state of oneness, i.e. enjoying the same experience at the same time, it is Yoga.”


Now, when I think of sitting in the Sukhasana pose while eating meals, I can totally understand its importance. We are actually performing a Yogasana while eating. Therefore, we are allowing ourselves to be completely involved in the act of consuming food. Isn’t that a wonderful practice?


Apart from its scientific importance, I like sitting down while eating for a few more reasons. Sitting in a circle around the food helps in better interaction with each other thus improving family bonding. It is also easier to access the food for refills as it is kept right in the center, thus being equidistant from each person. Sitting on the floor also helps us sit closer to each other yet with enough distance to avoid bumping of hands unlike when we sit on a table. I feel it also keeps us grounded, literally and figuratively – in a way it is paying our respect to this Earth, the provider of food. There is no hierarchy created when we are sitting down, each one is equal regardless of their age, gender, etc.


For many years, my brother and I have been reciting food prayers before eating dinner. We learnt these prayers in ‘Balvikas’, a spiritual class. Both the prayers are in Sanskrit.


The prayer that Gaurav, my brother recites (A Sanskrit Shloka):

Harir Daatha Harir Bhoktha Harir Annam Prajaapatih Harir Vipra Shareerastu Bhoonkte Bhojayathe Harih

Meaning of words: Harir – God Daatha – Giver Bhoktha – Consumer Annam – Cooked rice or Food Vipra – Wise, Learned Bhoonkte – Eat Bhojayathe – Food


Explanation: God is the giver of food and God enjoys food Himself.


The prayer that I recite (A Sanskrit Shloka from Bhagavad Gita: Chapter 4, Verse 24):

Brahmarpanam Brahma Havir Brahmagnau Brahmanahutaṃ, Brahmaiva Tena Gantavyam Brahmakarma Samadhinah

Meaning of words: Brahma – Spiritual nature Arpanam – Contribution Brahma – The Supreme Havih – Butter/Food offering Brahma – Spiritual Agnau – In the fire of consummation Brahmana – By the spirit soul Hutam – Offered Brahma – Spiritual kingdom Eva – Certainly Tena – By him Gantavyam – Destination to be reached Brahma – Spiritual Karma – Activities Samadhina – By complete absorption


Explanation: The food we offer, the vessels used to offer the food, the one who is offering the food – all are of spiritual nature.


Now, there may be many who are theists, atheists, apatheists or agnostics. That is not important here. The gesture and the intention behind reciting these shlokas is of utmost importance.


Words are vibrations. Thus, reciting these prayers before eating benefits in three ways.

  1. It calms the people who are about to consume the food.

  2. It transfers good and positive vibrations in the atmosphere and the food.

  3. It is an expression of gratitude.

These are some of the dining etiquette that we follow at home. Sitting down and eating meals is beneficial, however, this does not mean that all dining tables should be defenestrated. Of course, everything is useful in some ways. I am also not indicating that everyone reading this post should memorise the shlokas and start reciting them. However, you can definitely incorporate the feeling of gratefulness while consuming a meal. If you already do that, great! If you don’t, you can start it now!


Vaibhavi 20.07.2020

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