My family is associated with the Art of Living, a spiritual organisation started by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, commonly known as Guruji. Every Sunday, there is a follow-up session conducted by the Art of Living teachers wherein, we perform exercises and spiritual practices in a group. Every area in Mumbai has a teacher. Hence, before the lockdown, people used to attend sessions conducted by the teacher in their area. Since the lockdown began, everything has shifted online, giving us a chance to attend sessions by teachers all across India and the world.
Yesterday, Swami Purnachaitanya, who is originally from the Netherlands took the follow-up meeting. He was born Freek Alexander Luthra. He joined the Art of Living at an early age after attending some sessions held by Guruji in the Netherlands. After completing his University studies, he shifted to the Bangalore Ashram to dedicate the rest of his life to serving other people.
He started yesterday’s follow-up with yoga and stretches. As we were practising it, he was also talking to us in between.
With a mesmerising and lasting smile on his face, he said, “Today is a great day to start loving yourself even more.”
Without thinking, I blurted, “Why?”
“Because it is Valentine’s Day today.”, Papa answered my query.
“What a wonderful thought that is!” I thought to myself.
Indeed, we always think about a second person when it comes to Valentine’s Day. And who exactly is this second person? In conventional terms, it is someone to whom we can give one out of these 4 tags - girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband. If that second person does not exist, to fit the bill; we comfortably tag our mother or father or grandmother or friend as our Valentine. But, how many times do we tell ourselves, “Hey, I love you.”, let alone celebrating Valentine’s Day with ourselves.
We are constantly bombarded by external voices - nagging, bickering and balderdash. You should do this and that; you should not do this and that; you should be like this and that; you should not be like this and that; you should have this and that; you should follow this and that; you should try this and that; and the list can go on until the end of time. The point being that amongst these external voices (expectations, demands, threats, advice, etc.) of thousands of other people, the most important voice - your voice - gets lost. Your inner voice may be screaming on top of its lungs, trying to communicate with you, but you turn a deaf ear to all its attempts. After a point, it gives up and loses all its ability to communicate anything with you. It may turn against you; it may become your worst enemy - it may no longer want to be a part of you.
Just like the other people in your life seek your attention, support and love, your own body, mind and soul seek the same from you too. We often keep a tab on other people, ask them if they are doing fine, help them, spend time with them, praise them, love them, take care of them - which is all fine - you should do it. But, think about how many of these things you do with yourself. If you don’t, it is okay. It is never too late to start loving yourself more.
I have an idea, which I feel can help us be more attentive to our inner voice. For this, I want you to go to your bathroom or room or any private space and stand in front of the mirror. If you are feeling lazy, then you can exit the blog and come back to it later. If you are already standing in front of the mirror, then continue reading.
You are still looking into your phone, trying to understand what antics I am making you do, am I right? Okay, let’s unravel it.
Look up from your phone once you finish reading this paragraph. Look at yourself in the mirror. Stare into your own eyes. I can’t decide for how long you should gaze at yourself. You make that decision. While you are staring, observe your thoughts. Continue reading the blog when you are done.
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If you are reading this, I suppose you looked at yourself to your satisfaction. If not, it’s okay. Now recall what were you thinking? Were you thinking about yourself? Or about others? Were your thoughts negative? Were they positive? This time when you look up, think of the-person-in-the-mirror as a second person. As if you both are meeting after a long time - just like when you meet your friends after a long time, you have so much to catch up with them! You can go on talking with them for hours. Similarly, treat the-person-in-the-mirror as someone you happen to know before anyone else did, you see them daily, just didn’t have the time to converse with them. But today is the day when you can start talking to that-person-in-the-mirror also commonly known as your-dear-self. Talk aloud if you can. Take your time and come back when you’re done having a dialogue with yourself.
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Welcome back, how did it go? This time, you will look up and talk to yourself again, but there’s a twist. We rarely praise ourselves. It isn’t our fault. Since childhood, we have been told “khud ki tareef karna achi baat nahi hai” repeatedly. This Hindi statement translates to - “it is not good to praise yourself”. Of course, the intention behind the phrase was to keep us humble. But we neither praise ourselves nor are we humble. We are the exact opposite - we are too hard on ourselves. There can be various reasons why we do that - one of it of course being - letting the external voices of people overpower our internal voice. So today, let’s be nice to ourselves. Look up and praise yourself - without being arrogant - without being egoistic - just acknowledge yourself with reverence. Start with admiring your physical body. Then, slowly move inwards. Be grateful to yourself - say "Thank you". Okay, see you later, someone’s waiting for you!
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And you’re back. You’re doing great so far. Pat your back. We are nearing the end now. All you have to do now is say the three magic words that you always save for that someone special in your life. Today, treat yourself as the most special and important person. Look at yourself, smile wide and say, “I love you.” Since you’ve made your inner voice happy, listen to it carefully, you’ll hear the words “I love you too.” I don’t want to be the third wheel in your relationship. Come back soon!
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Hey! You finally spoke to yourself today. If you found it difficult to connect to yourself, it is okay. We all know that relationships take time to build, in fact, even longer to build them strong. If it takes years to bond with other people, imagine how long it would take to bond with yourself. Self-talk will help you find and listen to your inner voice, which is probably lost somewhere. You are bound to feel happy.
Don't forget to remind yourself this everyday.
Today is a great day to start loving yourself even more!
- Swami Purnachaitanya
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